My Career Aspirations

I guess you can say I'm an "aspiring" guru (harhar) but really- I'm not. And I know what I'm about to say is going to come off HORRIBLY cocky. But I personally believe its true. And so do many people I know. So. Going on with it. Okay.
I'm good at makeup. *SHRIEEEEK*
Okay, so maybe its not a big deal, or not a deal at all. But I know for a fact that I'm better than the average person at makeup. How? I've been asked to do makeup for proms, weddings, picture day, and numerous other events. I know, I know, just because people ask me doesn't mean I'm all that. But when I look at the finished product of my "creation" (bahahaha) I can't help but think, "Damn Caroline, what the hell are you doing working at a sandwich shop? You should be doing makeup for the runway!" Alright, perhaps not that far, but I know that I have the qualifications to do makeup professionally. And sometimes, its not about what people think. Its about what you think, and about if you feel you have the potential to reach every goal. But the important question is, do you have the drive, the determination, to get you there?
Now i'm not just talking about makeup. There are so many other careers I want to take part in. Why oh why must there only be one of me?! To be honest though, professional makeup is my back up plan. And I'd want to be a Celebrity Makeup Artist just so I can get a more dominant experience in the field. But truth be told, I really want to become a News Anchor. I plan on enrolling in journalism courses during college and also having it as my number one major. But then I have this awfully scary urge to attend law school, but I have to double check myself on that one because I've been watching waaaay too much Law&Order: SVU lately. I just get so much motivation from the show alone. But I have this horrible horrible fear of having someones life in my hands. I just think that's so much responsibility I have to bare. I don't know if I could handle that...
And then there's my dream of becoming a detective. This is probably the biggest dream of all. I would *love* to have a career as a detective. Thanks to the numerous amount of episodes I've watched of CSI: NY, Criminal Minds, Dexter, Psych, White Collar, Law&Order: SVU once again, and many others (see parents, T.V really does have an influence of children!-Not that I'm a child or anything...). But knowing me, since I have been myself for the past 16/17 years of my life, I think I'm too chicken to actually get out of bed at 3 AM and go check out a dead body. Thinking about it-typing about it even- makes me shudder. And then there are those crazy people who want to get pay back at the detectives who arrest them so what if they come and hunt my family down? *knocks on wood* Or what if I have to go undercover and something goes wrong? What if something really horrible happened to me? How do I recover from a traumatic experience? These are all the questions I ask myself, and it really makes me wonder if I have the capability to withhold so much... sadness, and pain. I think its the "what if's" that get to me the most though. As much as I would love to help bring justice to those who deserve it, I don't know if I have the bravery to catch the sonofabitch who ruined their lives. I think I need something to heavily impact my life for me to really have the ambition to pursue my dreams. We shall see.
BUT. If I don't ever fufill that dream, my second dream is to marry someone in that profession. So he can tell me all about his day, and how he helped bring closure into someones life. It'll be like hearing a Law&Order episode. No re-runs included.

-Caroline